Bill Maher On Weinergate: “They Know It’s A Democrat’s Penis, Because It Won’t Stand Up” (Mediaite)

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Sarah Palin Reveals Fascinating New Account of Paul Revere’s Midnight Ride (New York Magazine)

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Republicans Propose Replacing Social Security with Groupons (Borowitz Report)

Rep. Paul Ryan, image by Getty Images via @daylifeEmail • Twitter • Facebook • LinkedIn • YouTube





WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Presenting what he called a revolutionary plan to slash the nation’s mountain of debt, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) today proposed eliminating the Social Security program in its entirety and replacing it with Groupons.

“Instead of waiting each month for a check from Social Security, America’s elderly will receive valuable Groupons for everything they need, from Ramen noodles to cat food to caskets,” Mr. Ryan said in an appearance on Fox News.

Adding that Groupons would also help provide for elders’ medical needs, the congressman illustrated his point by holding up a Groupon offering 30 percent off on open-heart surgery in Cincinnati.

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George Will: Everyone Knows Sarah Palin Should Not Be Trusted With Nuclear Weapons (Mediaite/This Week)

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Florda Gov. Rick Scott's budget scene scripted down to who could attend (St. Petersbug Times)

Rick Scott, image via WikipediaEmail • Twitter • Facebook • LinkedIn • YouTube

By Aaron Sharockman
Times Staff Writer
Friday, May 27, 2011

THE VILLAGES — Each detail of Florida Gov. Rick Scott's first budget signing was painstakingly considered.

From the location ­— a conservative retirement community in Central Florida — to the mini-red "veto" Sharpie pens Scott handed out as keepsakes.

From the music that would announce Scott's arrival to the stage, to, it turns out, who could be there.

At the urging of Scott officials, Sumter County sheriff's deputies escorted a group of more than a dozen Democrats — mainly retirees who live in The Villages — from Thursday's event at the town square.

The reason?

The $69 billion state budget signing ceremony was a "private event."

Staffers and Republican operatives searched the crowd of about 200 looking for people holding anti-Scott signs. They were noted and asked to leave. Those with pro-Scott signs were allowed to stay.

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